For Jenny, The Bloggess

Jenny,

Sweetie, I love you to death, you know that, right? You're such a talented writer, but you're also "funny as shit" (said in a British accent). If I can't read your blog for a few days I go into withdrawal.

You're funny as shit in person too. And so damn adorable I want to hate you, but I can't. Because you're too damn nice. Plus, you're one of the most supportive bloggers I know. I feel blessed to have been Bloggessed on a fairly regular basis for the last year and a half.

But, sweetie, please forgive me. I know you've just had your wisdom teeth removed, two of them because you're a freak of nature lucky. I know you're high and insensible right now. But when I saw a certain item in the room full of crap waiting room at Cracker Barrel yesterday, I couldn't resist. I bought it for my son.

It's a bath toy, battery operated, and it shoots around the bathtub making bubbles and entertaining the kiddos.

Or, scaring the hell out of them:

The Squid.

Is this thing on?

Ewww. What is this thing again? Are you sure it's a bath toy for kids, Mommy?
It looks like it came in a plain brown wrapper.

Mommy. You know Jenny's going to be really pissed.

Forgive me?

Eureka!

Oh friends of the internet, I'll be leaving you for 5 days again soon. I'm taking Holden to visit my cousins, Defiant Muse and her daughter Monkey, in Eureka, California from Thursday to Tuesday.

I've never flown more than half way across the country with Little H before and that didn't go so well. I'm bringing the trusty Benadryl, the portable DVD player, puzzles, two small aquadoodles, and a boat load of books that are two damn heavy for me to be carting through an airport. Hopefully we will survive without too many meltdowns.

Pray for me.

(You know I'm joking, right?)

While I procrastinate working on Julie's Hump Day Hmmm for the week and a post I should be writing for MOMocrats about health care, I thought I'd share some photos I just took.

Yesterday, I took Hollis to a park on the water near us in late afternoon, just before sunset. The lighting was perfect. The kid? Not so much. I only got a few photos of his face out of him by letting him cart my tripod around and take about 50 fuzzy shots of me all by himself. Using the tripod, of course.

We were out there for about 2 hours and I probably took 250 shots. In 75% of those, Hollis is intentionally running away, facing away, trying to "shoot" me with my tripod, or just fuzzy. (Operator error. I was shooting in manual with no autofocus. No auto anything, actually.) But I still have more to show you after this. Perhaps when I get back from California and have some more editing time....



Gazing into the distance.

He looks so serene, but he's actually just finished screaming pouting because I wouldn't let him climb on the rocks of death by the water.



Love the face here.



Yes, it's a big fish.

I took this one as an assignment for my photography class. We were supposed to take photos of a statue and make them "interesting." Trust me to mock the exercise. Hey, at least I didn't bring a fishing rod for Hollis. I thought about it.

Photo by Hollis.

Please excuse the hair. It was windy. Oh and I was feeling a bit off focus. (I crack myself up.)

Another photo by Hollis.

He also got a lovely shot of my hand on my butt while I was trying to get up and rescue my camera. I think it was actually in focus too. I deleted it. Can't have anyone running across that!


I took the camera away, but he kept pretending.




Future photographer? Or future Hollywood stunt man?

Hollis may have been uncooperative, but I got this when we were leaving....

Barney Is The Devil

I hate Barney.

All that "I love you. You love me. We're a happy family..." crap makes me want to hurl something at the TV. I know kids love him but I was determined that we would not be Barney lovers in this house.

You'll be happy to know that if you prime and brainwash educate your children from birth, providing intellectually challenging activities and carefully selecting developmental programs, you can mold your children in any way you like.

For instance, if you tell your children from birth that "Barney is the devil," immediately change the channel if anything Barney or Barney-related comes on TV, and steadfastly forbid your children to wear the color purple, this will be the result:

"I heart Barney, Mommy."

Frack. Back to the drawing board.

Valentine's Snow Day

When is a snow day not a good thing?

When it's your 3 year old's first Valentine's Day party, he spent hours the night before carefully decorating every card and meticulously (or not) cutting out hearts for his teacher's home made card.

Hollis cried when he heard there would be no school today.

I'm not sure that this even actually qualifies as "snow." (Suck it up! I'm talking to you, Chesapeake!) It was really more like frozen rain that looked white until it melted about 20 minutes ago. While the kids thought the idea of snow was great in theory, Hollis touched it with his bare hand and was done.

Holden lasted a bit longer. It took 5 minutes for him to declare, "Mommmmmmy! Hands too cold! Help me!"

My wussy little Southern boys!




Can you believe he kept that adorable hat on? I can't.
He wouldn't wear the mittens though.





What is this white stuff and why is it on my foot?
He made me clean off his feet. Seriously.





The sun came out.





You still can't make me look at the camera, Mommy.
No matter how much you want a cute Valentine's Day photo.

Hurricane Holden Turns Two - a Pictorial

My little Hurricane,

You are a force of nature, leaving random messes and gray hairs in your wake. But despite your large personality, nothing has ever been easier than loving you. I never imagined it could be so easy. So easy to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have you. Love you.

You'll be compared to your older brother for the rest of your life. I'm sorry about that. But know that your worth isn't related to his accomplishments or age. You're Holden. Loving, snuggly, sweet, stubborn, fearless, and social little Holden.

When I was pregnant with your brother, I was afraid to love him and afraid to hope. But with you, there was never a moment when I doubted that I would hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep. I just knew. And I loved you from the moment I knew.

I loved you when you were a flicker and a grainy black and white photo.
I loved you the day before you were born.


I loved you at 4 minutes


4 days


and 4 months.


Pretty early on, I realized you were a goat and we'd have to be careful. That hasn't changed.


At 9 months, when you started climbing and walking, suddenly and fearlessly, I realized we were in trouble.


By your first birthday, you were fiercely independent.


By 18 months I knew that the stubborn streak was hereditary.


Now...


you're two. Still independent, stubborn, fearless, and loving.

and reaching for more of life every day.

Despite the gray hairs and the nervous twitch, I can't wait to see what you do next.

I love you, my snuggle bug, my buddy boo, my hurricane, my Holden.

Happy birthday.

Love,
Mommy

Sliding from Different Angles

For Wordless Wednesday.

Heard from the Boys

Scene: Family sitting in Cracker Barrel restaurant, near the fireplace.

Hollis spies deer head with large antlers over the fireplace.

"Look, Mommy! It's a reindeer!" Begins singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer while his parents pray that he won't ask why Rudolph has been decapitated and placed on the wall.

The kid is obsessed with Rudolph. Oh, the therapy he will need.

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Scene: Family sitting around kitchen table eating dinner. Daddy passes around rolls he was supposed to let thaw and rise overnight, but actually just stuck in the oven frozen.

Holden tries to bite into his beloved carbohydrate unsuccessfully.

He tries again.

He knocks on the outside of the roll.

"Daddy, it's a rock!"

Mommy busts out laughing.
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And more cuteness:

Ripping Casey Off Again

Casey just did a post about where the Moosh got her blond, curly hair. Because it wasn't enough for me to copy Casey's series about infertility and pregnancy, I had to copy this too.

It drives me absolutely insane that everyone is always telling me how much the boys look like T. Yes, Hollis does look like a little mini-T. I'll acknowledge that. But Holden? With his brown eyes and blond, wavy (would be curly if his dad would friggin leave it alone) hair?

Well, why don't you be the judge:

Me and my mother

Holden

Have I mentioned that T has dark brown, stick straight hair?



And my hair now:

Me with Oh The Joys and Redneck Mommy at BlogHer '07.
Gotta love the bra showing. Classy, Steph. Classy.

Does that settle it?

Why Holden May Need to Enter Witness Protection

I live in Hokie territory. In case any of you don't know what that means, just try burning a Virginia Tech flag in effigy in Virginia and see what happens. Needless to say, T and I are not huge VT fans. I went to Miami.* I'm required by some sort of green and orange bond to hate Virginia Tech and all things Hokie. I'm pretty sure they covered that in orientation.

A few years ago, T and I scored tickets to a VT-Miami football game in Blacksburg. To be fair, the people of Blacksburg were as nice as could be, even to the Miami fans. The game itself was a bit overwhelming, with turkey calls and keys rattling. I remember that football fever and frenzy from my days at Miami, but I've rarely been to games where I've been in the minority. It was, um... interesting. And yes, Miami sucked donkey balls and T and I were able to escape without being torn limb from limb or anything.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago. The kids got a new movie, Chicken Little. As with all new movies that enter the house, they must watch it obsessively until they have something new to distract them. Consequently, we've seen the movie 548 times in the last 2 weeks. And that's only a slight exaggeration.

Today Little H walked with his sitter to see a neighbor on the corner. They walked past a house with a giant Virginia Tech flag flying in front. (You can't swing a dead dog cat down here without hitting a Hokie fan. Um, sorry. That was a really bad Michael Vick joke.) The flag featured the Hokie turkey quite prominently. Hollis turned to M, started hopping up and down excitedly screaming and pointing, "Look, Miss M! Look! A chicken! A chicken!"

T and I think this is hilarious, but M is worried that her family will have to move if word gets out that Little H has been calling the Hokie Bird a chicken.

Those little ones are awfully intuitive, aren't they? Maybe the new VT fight song can be the Chicken Dance.**

* Yes, yes, I realize that Miami is stinking up the football field this year too. I know, I know. No need to rub it in.
** I didn't realize until I reread this post that it could actually seem like a reference, in very poor taste, to the tragedy at VT last year. I assure you that this is just good natured ribbing from the fan of a football rival. I only mean to disparage the VT football team and its former player, Michael Vick. Please take it in that spirit.

Don't Fence Me In - Wordless Wednesday

Hmmmm.... Can anyone guess the theme? Yeah, I thought it was too hard.

Goat Meets Goat

For Wordless Wednesday. See this post of mine if you need an explanation. Hump Day Hmmm post to come later.

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In other events, a dear friend of mine, Not Exactly a Princess, is facing some seriously life changing news right now. To describe my thoughts about what she and her husband are facing would take more words than I have right now. She's relatively new to the blogging world, but one of my best friends. Keep her and her husband in your thoughts, would you?

It seems completely trivial to mention now, but NEaP also has some video up of my Big H with her Pumpkin from this weekend.