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Barney Is The Devil
I hate Barney.

All that "I love you. You love me. We're a happy family..." crap makes me want to hurl something at the TV. I know kids love him but I was determined that we would not be Barney lovers in this house.

You'll be happy to know that if you prime and brainwash educate your children from birth, providing intellectually challenging activities and carefully selecting developmental programs, you can mold your children in any way you like.

For instance, if you tell your children from birth that "Barney is the devil," immediately change the channel if anything Barney or Barney-related comes on TV, and steadfastly forbid your children to wear the color purple, this will be the result:

"I heart Barney, Mommy."

Frack. Back to the drawing board.

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Blogger Nancy said...

The more I hated Barney, the more my daughter loved him. Grrrrrrr

Blogger flutter said...

Barney is the 4th horseman of the apocalypse

Blogger Tara said...

oh how tragic! I have been so hoping that my anti-barney brainwashing would work...

Blogger Gwen said...

LOL. I'm so sorry, S. Good try, though.

Blogger Stimey said...

This is terribly funny.

I didn't realize it at the time, but Barney had managed to brainwash even me for awhile. All of my kids loved him and while I found it a little weird, I wasn't the anti-Barney.

Now, a couple years removed from our Barney frenzy, I wonder what I was thinking. At least the only Barney paraphernalia we ended up with was one small stuffed Barney and a DVD.

Same here.

Ian started singing the song the other day! I was mortified.

Blogger PunditMom said...

Or as we called the purple one here, The Devil's Spawn!

Blogger ewe are here said...

I am relieved to report that Barney does not appear to have landed in the UK.

Thank gawd!

Blogger Sarcasta-Mom said...

That's too funny. My daughter LOVES that big purple devil and his super catchy tunes. I have to constantly muzzle my husband to keep his nasty Barny remarks at bay.

Blogger Robert said...

Fortunately my daughter has listened quite well to our objections to programs. She'll even say "Mommy doesn't like this show, Dad" whenever something comes on (like Sponge Bob) that we don't want her watching. She'll be insistent, in fact, if things are left on that dislike. I don't know how we got so lucky, but we did.

Blogger M&Co. said...

Doesn't work with Barney, Barbie or Bob the Builder. Maybe we should try embracing the things we want them to leave alone. Oh wait. We might enjoy that too much when they are older.


Anonymous Paige said...

I have fought off Barney thus far.

Knock wood, of course.

Those damned kids with the rocket ship and dumbed down culture are a little more problematic though.

Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Ack, Paige, the Little Einsteins annoy me to no end.

Blogger kristen said...

Barney is evil - with his dead eyes and kid actors that are reminiscent of stepford wives, I always hated the purple beast, my daughter thought otherwise.

Luckily she outgrew the purple fiend only to be replaced by all things Disney princess. I think that was almost worse.

You have to admit that this photo of your boy is stinkin' cute - makes Barney almost worth it right? hehe.

Blogger Kyla said...

Barney. *shiver*

The only time he and I were on good terms was when I was working in daycare and that 30 minutes was the only time those kiddos were happy and content! ;)

For BubTar, the forbidden love was Teletubbies (thanks to daycare), but when he looked up at me and said "Tubbytubbies?" I caved. Totally. (in really, really limited quantities, though, LOL)

Blogger Lady Liberal said...

Crap! Crap! Crap!
This does not bode well for all the anti-Barbie brainwashing I've already begun!
There will be no pink Corvette in our toy box, dammit!

Blogger Blue Moon Mama said...

Why is it, I wonder, that kids really do love Barney?

We are a Barney-free household.

My mother-in-law bought some Barney DVDs for us (well, for him), but they had a sudden and secret meeting with the trash can. And I, who can rarely part with gifts even if I hate them, didn't even feel guilty.

I guess loving Barney in an anti-Barney household is an early act of rebellion...

Blogger Julie Pippert said...

Dude. No Barney here. You have clearly not mastered the fine art of "over my dead body" and "subtle peer pressure." I employ the latter and resort to the former.

My subtle peer pressure is remarkably effective n the Barney issue.

We watch a show and I critique, "Huh, that's sort of a babyish song, don't you think?"

"Those children are really clean, what do you think of a show that thinks children should never get dirty?"

"This show is really popular with babies, I can really see why!"

See? I appeal to their disdain of clean and babies.

it's all in the currency, my friend.


P.S. I despised Barney long before I had kids. 1. It was our main TV show competition so it was sort of a job requirement. 2. We sometimes filmed in the same studio building. Those kids? Oy. 3. When we went on character tours, it was my job to coordinate the travel, hire the local actor, and ensure the character was represented (so travel there myself) and organize the show. I often had to travel with the Barney actor. I had to bite my tongue bloody.

Blogger Michele said...

I don't think my 21 month old have ever seen Barney ... but she has seen Nemo, about a thousand times. By now, I'm thinking Disney is the Devil.

Blogger Busy Momma said...

nice try! I'm not a Barney fan either and was also one to change the channel as soon as it would come on but one time I wasn't fast enough and Cooper was hooked! Luckily he's actually learned a lot from Barney so I guess I can let it slide.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My MIL bought my children a Barney book and a Teletubbies book. Because she hates us, evidently.

I got my kids hooked on Star Wars v. young so I don't think Barney stands a chance.

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