Imelda Marcos, Eat Your Heart Out (or Monticello Shoes, Will You Marry Me?)

Can I marry a shoe store?

By now you all know about my deep and abiding love of all things shoe and shoe related. If you're new here, or you've managed to block it from your mind, here's a little reminder.

And here:

Brown suede pumps, Ann Taylor

And here:

Gold, stacked heel flip flops, Old Navy

And here:

Green patent leather wedge with gold trim and buckle, Anne Klein

And, of course, here:

Black satin peep toe pumps with toe ruching, Nina

Pink and black toeless knee high tights by Tarjaaaaah (aka Target)

And, um, here:


Red, Chloe double cross strap Mary Janes by Fitzwell.

But now? Now, I would forsake all my lovely, lovely shoes for these:


I found a beautiful new shoe store, Monticello Shoes, in downtown Norfolk. I was walking back from lunch through the Monticello Arcade in downtown Norfolk, and there it was, like a bright, shining shoe beacon of leathery, sparkly loveliness. I loved every. single. pair. of. shoes. in the whole damn store.

They are designed by a woman and super, super comfortable with extra support in the heel and ball of the foot. They are designed to be worn for a full work day in comfort. Every shoe is unique, designed just for Monticello shoes and handmade in Brazil. You haven't seen these shoes anywhere else and they are exquisite. They are really more than designer shoes; some of them are works of art.

My absolute favorite in the store was a gorgeous pair of gray suede mules with purple leather trim and an adorable Swarovski crystal flower adorning the side. Unfortunately, they had sold my size already. You see, they only make 1 shoe in each size. That's it. In the entire world.

Monticello Shoes also has matching belts and handbags, although the entire collection of bags was not yet in. The samples they did have were lovely. Each features the MS crest, has a light inside for locating lost items, and a battery charger. That's right. A friggin' battery charger. Brilliant!

Monticello will also custom design shoes for you, stamping your name in the leather insert. How many times have you seen a lovely pair of shoes and thought, "those would be perfect in red?" Or, "If only the heel weren't so high?" Monticello can make that happen with their shoes. Or you can bring a special dress in and have them design a pair of shoes just for you.

Every pair of shoes has a matching belt and bag. While I prefer not to match my bag to my shoes, I'd love to have some of those bags in different patterns. They will also custom design purses. If they custom design a purse, Monticello can also replace the MS design on the front of the bag with your initials. How cool is that?!

The woman who designed these things is a genius. I want to meet her and give her a big kiss. And then beg her to get back to work designing more lovely shoes made of air and light and pretty shiny crystals.

The salesman in the store also gave me a sneek peak at their Fall collection of boots that will be out in August. Dear lord, they were magnificent! My favorite pair: knee high black suede boots with a 3 inch heel. From about 3 inches from the top to just above the ankle, they feature a rich, red plaid fabric. Cutest. boots. ever.

The best thing about all of these fabulous designer shoes is that they are reasonably priced. Seriously. They range from about $150-$230 for the nicer party shoes. If you've ever purchased a pair of Dolce & Gabana heels or Jimmy Choo boots, you know that's a steal!

I know that I've been overly effusive in this post. My fingers are tripping over the keys in an attempt to get the words out. But let me say it one more time:

I. Love. Monticello. Shoes.

Monticello Shoes, will you marry me?

If you live in the Hampton Roads area, you can find these lovely shoes* here:

Monticello Shoes
209 E. City Hall Ave.
Norfolk, VA 23510
(757) 624-8450

But if you see a size 6, you'd better step off. Those are mine!

* They also have men's shoes. They all looked lovely and rich at a glance, but I didn't even bother looking very closely at them. T wears shoes until they have holes in them and then buys another pair at Payless for no more than $40. Then he's good for another 2 years. Sigh.... It's a damn good thing he's cute!

Becoming My True Self

I'm wearing these today with a black skirt that falls just at the knee, a pink sweater, black jacket, and a black scarf with pink, green, orange, and purple swirls on it. I think I look fabulous.

Taken with my crappy camera phone.

Over the years I've discovered that I love color and I love to wear color, particularly in unexpected ways. It's just that I've always been a pretty reserved dresser at work. In my line of work, it's sort of expected.

Now that I'm back at work after The Depression, I've decided that I'm going to wear what makes me happy. No more hiding who I really am. And who I am is a somewhat reserved woman who loves to to take people by surprise.

I've gotten a lot of double takes today. Even more double takes than the time I showed up in thigh high white stockings with hot pink vertical stripes. (They were fabulous, by the way. I'll take a picture next time I wear them.) While it's refreshing to have people stare at my socks instead of my chest, it's a bit uncomfortable. I feel like I have to explain why I'm wearing these stockings when, of course, I really can't. It's not like finding your authentic self is something you can bring up in hallway chit chat.

So then I wonder if I'm really trying to show people who I am or if I'm just trying to shock them. And then regretting the choice. Still, I haven't taken the stocking off. This seems to be some sort of personal test and I'll be damned if I'm going to fail it.

I spent most of my childhood and a fair part of my adulthood trying to be just like everyone else. While secretly (or overtly) admiring everyone and everything that was original, different, not "me." Maybe I'm not the girl with the pink and black stockings, but I'm not going to be just like everyone else.

If I can teach my children one thing that I think will help them most in this world, it is this:

Don't be afraid to be different.
Don't be afraid to question.
Shout it from the rooftops.
Examine everything.
Live an authentic life.

So tell me, how do you show the world your authentic self?

Post, and my soul, inspired by Shutter Sisters.

'Tis the Season ... of Rampant Consumerism

But H&H look awfully cute with Santa. How could I resist?

***********
It's Day 7 of my campaign to get Wil Wheaton to comment on my blog. Still no sign of him. I hope he's just coming down off the high of his appearance on NUMB3RS last night and will cave soon!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Shoes

For some reason that title makes me start singing "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music.

Now, if you're a shoe-a-holic like me, you'll love this post. If you're not, I'm sorry. I'm not sorry that you're suffering through my post, but sorry that you have never discovered the unwavering love of that perfect, amazingly beautiful pair of shoes.

Anyway, here are a few of my favorite shoes, as seen by me. Please forgive my nasty seriously-in-need-of-a-pedicure toes and the spots on my mirror. It's a hazard of living with people who are 3 feet tall and like to touch things.

I bought these Anne Klein red, patent shoes with a kitten heel for my 34th birthday. I even blogged about it. They look great with jeans and are super comfortable. I can wear them anywhere that doesn't involve dirt.

These BCBG silver and black, peep toe pumps are my favorite evening shoes. I feel super sexy in them and the 3 1/2 inch heels make my legs look amazing. (If I can say that about myself.)

These are my favorite daily staple. These black, Anne Klein, sling black pumps go with everything and are quite comfortable. The heels are a modest 2" so I wear them to court or lunchtime shopping excursions on a regular basis. I've had them re-heeled 3 times. I will keep wearing them until they fall apart.

I got these red Via Spiga pumps for a song at Nordstrom Rack in early fall. Red is my favorite color, so I wear them a lot. They have a 3 inch heel, so they aren't great for court or lots of walking, but they're perfect for the office.

These black, Nina, peep toe satin pumps are surprisingly comfortable. I can wear them with dressy outfits and to the office. I get compliments on these shoes more than any other pair I own.

I picked up these red, suede sling back pumps at Payless last Spring for $14. That's right. Fourteen dollars. I wore them all Summer and they're still holding up great.

Because I'm a total b*tch. I've made this a meme. Queen of Mayhem, Sonia, Pundit Mom, Bub & Pie, and Sarcasta-Mom, consider yourselves tagged! Show me at least 2 pairs of your favorite shoes, even if you're not a shoe person.

I Was An 80 Year Old Grandmother In Another Life

Edited to add a bonus prize!

I normally put blog blasts and all things reviewish onto my review site. But this post contains some kitsch so horrible, I had to put these up on my main site to satisfy my lifetime goal of utterly humiliating myself. Well, at least until I put up the naked pictures.... Totally kidding. Don't run away!

Earlier this week, I mentioned on my other blog that I did a major closet purge this weekend after reading Nina Garcia's advice in The Little Black Book of Style. (You can read my review of the book here as well.) Because there isn't much left in my closet that's shameful and horrifying, I tackled another problematic area: my jewelry box.

You see, I have inherited the pack rat gene. I find it hard to part with jewelry, no matter how old, tacky, or tarnished something may be.

Check out these fabulous holdovers from the 80's:


At least I hope they were purchased in the 80's. If not, the 90's were worse than I remember. I have no idea why they're still in my jewelry box. Did I honestly think I would ever wear them again? HELL NO!

Check out the shame of this scrunchie I had in my drawer. That's right, I said scrunchie. Carrie Bradshaw would slap me senseless if she saw this:

Those are gold metal links. I thought I was so keeeewl!
I saved the piece de resistance for last. Throughout high school, college, and, I'm ashamed to admit, beyond, I collected pins. The only common thread I can see in these pins is that they are all big, tacky, and make me want to slap my 20 year old self silly and scream "WHAT THE FRIGGIN HELL WERE YOU THINKING????"

Oh and did I mention that the telephone rings, the ferris wheel turns, and the kitty cats with the umbrella play Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head? Does that make this any better? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Clearly I was an 80 year old grandmother in my past life. I thought about keeping those fabulous pins for a few seconds thinking maybe I could wear them as some sort of ironic statement, but I know I can't pull that off. People would just think I was clueless.

Now when you've all stopped pointing and laughing, I want to see your tacky jewelry. C'mon! Let's see it. I can't be the only one....

***If you show me your tacky jewelry or something else you've been holding on to for waaaay too long, I'll send you one of those bad boys you see up there! The first to post is the first to win. I'll keep giving them away until I run out! Just email me at lawyermama at gmail dot com.***

This blog blast is brought to you by The Little Black Book of Style and PBN.

I'm a Pimp!

I'd like to take a moment to pimp my blog out.

Many of you know Sonia from ...and the pursuit of happiness as a gorgeous blogger (seriously, check out her pictures, she's beautiful), mother of four cute kiddos, and really nice person from Iowa. But did you know that Sonia also makes fabulously adorable shirts? Check out her site Sunshine Designs.

Sonia designed and made a ridiculously cute Lawyer Mama tee for me. I don't have any decent pictures of me in the darn thing because I couldn't actually wait and ask someone ELSE to take a picture of me. I'm always holding the camera, but trust me when I say it's super cute. Black, short sleeve t-shirt with Lawyer Mama on it in light pink crystals. It's adorable. This was the best shot I could get that didn't include a fabulous double chin as an accessory:

Nice rack.

I even got the boys matching shirts.* Holden, of course, loves his. At 19 months he is easily distracted by any shiny object. But Hollis loves his too. His father put him in it for the first time while I was at BlogHer and he apparently refused to take it off. He slept in it. Of course, he also thinks that jammies are perfectly acceptable day time wear, but that's beside the point. The shirts are almost as adorable as my boys:

Lawyer Boy refuses to pose for pictures now.

And Lawyer Baby was feeling a bit grumpy.

(Don't you miss that brief time period when your kids actually smiled for the camera on demand? I think it happened for about 2 weeks between 6 and 6.5 months for my progeny.)

Unfortunately, I didn't think T would go for a Mr. Lawyer Mama shirt. Bummer. That would make a great family portrait. But as you can see, I did try to get a picture of Lawyer Boy, Lawyer Baby, and Lawyer Mama:

And I promise I will never again refer to myself in the third person.

In the interest of full disclosure, Sonia also awarded me the Power of Schmooze award not too long ago and said some incredibly sweet things about my writing on her blog. But this is not, I repeat not a quid pro quo arrangement! Although I certainly can be bribed to pimp out my space for martinis. I'm a cheap date.

But I love Sonia. She's funny, talented, snarky, a little bitchy, and a GDI (God Damn Independent) in the true sense of the word. What's not to love?

*If you're wondering, no, the boys can't pull the crystals off the shirt. Ms. Sunshine did a fabulous job. The shirts are toddler proof!

Lock Me Up and Throw Away the Key

When I was pregnant with Big H, I stole a can of Sour Altoids.

In the interest of full disclosure, they were lime flavored.

I had horrible, puking out my nose, three times a day morning sickness with Hollis. (I'll be sure to tell him that daily when he's 16.) I had every nausea drug known to man but let's face it, they just take the edge off. Nothing and I mean nothing can kill really serious morning sickness.

I'd read somewhere that sucking on lemons can help you get through the urge to ralph, but that wasn't very convenient. I couldn't really carry a bag of produce around with me everywhere. Then Altoids came out with those little lemon drop like sour things - and yes, they are curiously strong. The Altoids worked just as well as lemons. If the morning sickness came when I was, say, about to argue a motion in court, it was a lot easier to explain why I was eating candy than to explain why I had just puked all over the judge's courtroom.

I had those little silver tins everywhere, including several in my purse.

One day in the second trimester, yes, the second trimester - I was puking up until the day I gave birth - I went to pick up some film from my local Eckerd. I had had a few special requests, like 5x7 prints, so I asked for a quote when I dropped the film off. The chipper 12 year old behind the counter told me it would be around $20. But when I went to pick up the film, they charged me $45. Yeah, you don't want to piss off a pregnant woman who can puke on demand. Seriously, people. Not a good idea.

Anyway, I, predictably, flipped. the. F. out. The manager was called. I dumped the contents of my purse out to find my film receipt where the chipper 12 year old had helpfully jotted down my information and the $20 estimate. The manager caved and gave me my $20 photos BUT they had neglected to make the photo disc I'd requested so I flipped the F out on her all over again. I grabbed my photos, stuffed everything back into my purse, and stormed home.

When I got home, I shared my hormonal rage with T, who wasn't suitably enraged on my behalf. But when I dumped my purse out again to show him the photos, I discovered a tin of Mandarin Orange Sour Altoids. Unopened. Not my flavor.

Uh oh.

Yep, in my blind hormonal rage I had inadvertently stolen a tin of Altoids from the display on the film counter. Whoopsie.

I wish I could say that I bravely marched in to Eckerd the next day and turned myself in, but I didn't. In fact, I made T go back to the store and pick up my picture disc just in case someone had decided to review the security surveillance film and had a Wanted poster up with my face on it.

OK, so maybe you all think I'm a horrible person now because I didn't return the Altoids. I rationalized to myself that I had been overcharged by Eckerd in the past. I rationalized that I had been paying their grossly marked up film developing prices for years. And then I ate my purloined Altoids.

And they were pretty yummy.

In fact, Mandarin Orange became my new favorite Altoids flavor.

What's the point of this story? Well, if you haven't been following the flack over the Duck at Motherhood Uncensored and The Mom Trap, go read this. Make sure you read the comments too. You wouldn't believe how strongly people feel about inadvertently stolen plush duckies from The Gap. It's eye opening. And Kristin's follow up to the post is pretty damn funny.

Kristin has asked me to be her legal expert, and I use the term "expert" loosely, in a discussion about the ethics of duckie heisting on her Blog Talk Radio show this Wednesday evening. So, because you're all dying to listen to me make a fool of myself publicly, I know you'll click on the Blog Talk icon at the top of this post to listen to the show live on Wednesday night. The show starts at 10pm EST and Kristin will be giving away some fun prizes for people who call in. I understand that a Fadiddle Keep the Duck (or Give Back the Duck) t-shirt will be up for grabs. Hell, that's reason enough alone to listen or call in.

I also want to know what you think. Keep the Duck? Give back the Duck? Shut the F up about the Duck?

You already know my opinion.

Shameless Plug Below

One of my favorite blogs is i obsess, written by a slightly crazy (that's a compliment), thoughtful, reflective, and totally cool Mommy. She's recently opened an online shop, Fadiddle, with some hip, different, and really cute clothes for kids. I just love some of the items for sale and I understand there's loads more to come in the future.

Because you know I have a little shopping problem, I had to buy some Christmas presents. Check out this shirt I had to get for my quiet little man, Big H. And this shirt for my 9 month old, Little H. And to top all the cuteness off, this is the message that popped up with my order confirmation:

Hello [Lawyer Mama], We would like thank you for your order, #1007. Your worth in our eyes far exceeds the amount tendered for this exchange, which happens to have been $56.56. We humbly express our gratitude for your patronage. (And we'll probably hold a candle-lighting ceremony in your honor later this evening, while we toast your good health and long, happy, joyous life. With cake. Lots of cake.) Team Fadiddle.

How adorable is that? Check out the shop if you have a chance!

Happy Birthday to ME!

My birthday was Wednesday, so I bought some new shoes and a purse to celebrate. (Yes, I have a little problem.) I love them so much, I thought I'd share their loveliness with you all!