I Was An 80 Year Old Grandmother In Another Life

Edited to add a bonus prize!

I normally put blog blasts and all things reviewish onto my review site. But this post contains some kitsch so horrible, I had to put these up on my main site to satisfy my lifetime goal of utterly humiliating myself. Well, at least until I put up the naked pictures.... Totally kidding. Don't run away!

Earlier this week, I mentioned on my other blog that I did a major closet purge this weekend after reading Nina Garcia's advice in The Little Black Book of Style. (You can read my review of the book here as well.) Because there isn't much left in my closet that's shameful and horrifying, I tackled another problematic area: my jewelry box.

You see, I have inherited the pack rat gene. I find it hard to part with jewelry, no matter how old, tacky, or tarnished something may be.

Check out these fabulous holdovers from the 80's:


At least I hope they were purchased in the 80's. If not, the 90's were worse than I remember. I have no idea why they're still in my jewelry box. Did I honestly think I would ever wear them again? HELL NO!

Check out the shame of this scrunchie I had in my drawer. That's right, I said scrunchie. Carrie Bradshaw would slap me senseless if she saw this:

Those are gold metal links. I thought I was so keeeewl!
I saved the piece de resistance for last. Throughout high school, college, and, I'm ashamed to admit, beyond, I collected pins. The only common thread I can see in these pins is that they are all big, tacky, and make me want to slap my 20 year old self silly and scream "WHAT THE FRIGGIN HELL WERE YOU THINKING????"

Oh and did I mention that the telephone rings, the ferris wheel turns, and the kitty cats with the umbrella play Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head? Does that make this any better? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Clearly I was an 80 year old grandmother in my past life. I thought about keeping those fabulous pins for a few seconds thinking maybe I could wear them as some sort of ironic statement, but I know I can't pull that off. People would just think I was clueless.

Now when you've all stopped pointing and laughing, I want to see your tacky jewelry. C'mon! Let's see it. I can't be the only one....

***If you show me your tacky jewelry or something else you've been holding on to for waaaay too long, I'll send you one of those bad boys you see up there! The first to post is the first to win. I'll keep giving them away until I run out! Just email me at lawyermama at gmail dot com.***

This blog blast is brought to you by The Little Black Book of Style and PBN.