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What We Carry With Us
My youngest son, Holden, my baby, has a security blanket. He calls it Blankie or, sometimes more formally to others, Blankettt. The "t" is carefully enunciated, his little tongue very deliberately meeting his baby teeth.

Blankie is a soft red chenille with a cheery yellow embroidered sun, giraffe, and palm tree and a blue rick rack border. The perfect blanket for such a sunny boy.

When Holden catches a glimpse of his blanket, a smile lights up his face, he exhales a breathy "Blankie!," and dives face first into his Blankie with no thought for personal safety. There have been many bumped and bruised foreheads in the name of Blankie love.

He forgets about Blankie for long stretches of time during the day, but if I put him in his crib with no blanket, he looks around and then up at me, quizzically. "Blankie?"

In the mornings, Holden drags Blankie with him as I lift him from his crib, warm and snugly. We sit in the corner of the couch and Holden folds back into my lap, his neck in the crook between my shoulder and arm, his head on my chest, his damp diapered tush on my leg. Blankie wraps around us both. Holden looks up at me and smiles his sleepy, enigmatic smile. We bask in mutual adoration.

They really know how to make us love them, these children of ours.

I remember my own childhood blanket.

When I was 3 or 4, I think, my parents were out for the evening and I had a babysitter. I don't remember if my brother, B, had been born yet, so I'm unsure about my age as well. There was an accident, my parents were called, I was frantically driven to the emergency room.

My parents wrapped me in a soft cotton baby blanket, white with large pink and blue flowers. I remember being carried through the dark in the blanket. I remember bright lights and a very white, blinding room. I remember clutching the blanket to me and refusing to let go. I don't remember much else. But I do remember the blanket.

That blanket became my talisman, my sleeping aid. My memory of being cocooned and comforted.

When I reached adolescence, I folded the blanket up and put it in a drawer, but it was still nearby. When I left home, I packed my blanket into a box, where it remained, and carted it from home to dorm, dorm to apartment, apartment to home.

Now, the blanket resides in a box in the attic of our house. Sometimes I will picture my blanket up there, creased from years of folding, the fabric soft and threadbare from hundreds of washings, pink and blue flowers strangely their original hue, the blood stains still faintly visible, reminding me of its history.

At 18 months, Holden's Blankie is still its original cherry red, unmarred by stains, unfrayed by time. I know that his attachment to Blankie is appropriate for his age and quite common. I also know that he may not need Blankie much longer. He may forget about it in a few years or only a few months.

But when he does, I will fold his Blankie and put it in a drawer. And when Holden leaves his childhood home, I will pack Blankie in a box and send it with him as a reminder of home and of me.

I hope that Holden will carry Blankie with him always.


This post is part of Julie's fabulous Hump Day Hmmm Roundtable. Our topic for this week was "The things you carry with you." (I was at a loss for a title for my post, so I shamelessly stole it.)

If you haven't already, please also check out the Just Posts for June. The list of Just Posts seems to get longer every month and that is fabulous! And I'm not just saying that because some kind soul nominated me for one this month.

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Blogger miss bliss said...

My 20 mo. old has a blanket too...her "blaank". It's maddening how is has to go everywhere with us, even in the car, and how it stinks so badly because she rejects it for a while if I wash it.

My blanket is under our bed in my "childhood" box. I'm not tempted to use it, but it's nice to know it's there.

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

WonderBaby has a big plush phallus-like object. 'Nuff said.

Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Miss Bliss - Blankie does acquire quite an, um, aroma, that's for sure!

HBM - And you have no idea how hard I *tried* to get him attached to a Georgia O'Keefe print, but he wasn't having any of it!

Blogger mcewen said...

You're doing a lot better than I am dearie - we're buried in 'stuff' that has to go with us everywhere. I feel a bit like Eric Carle's Hermit crab or maybe a camel.

Blogger Amy W said...

Audrey sleeps with hers tucked under her belly while she sleeps.

And Ashley? My almost four year old? Still clutches to her blanket as well.

Blogger CPA Mom said...

Tigger has three blankeys now. Needs them to sleep. The oldest one, I fear for its demise. It's slowly losing parts...

Eeyore has two. Luckily, I learned from my mistakes and the ones I gave her are more durable. But one is starting to show holes....oh no!

Blogger thailandchani said...

Interesting.... transitional objects. :) We all still have them in one form or another, even if it's only a memory. Something that keeps us grounded.

Really interesting. :) I hadn't put those two things together before.

Now I can finally write a post for the roundtable. On this one, I was truly stumped. :)



My son has Lou Bear, who is always vanishing. You'd think I'd be better trained at keeping track of him, but I'm a miserable failure!

What a sweet post.

Congrats on the Just Post award!

Blogger Paul Champagne said...

It's always adorable to see a child with their Blankie ... up to a point. As long as it is gone by the first day of school they are great.

Anonymous PT-LawMom said...

Pumpkinhead never took to a lovey, despite my best efforts. I have Roly Poly, the stuffed bear my grandparents gave me when I was 3, that I carried for years and, like you, even toted as a teenager on flights and such. He's finally been put away for safekeeping but I have lots of good memories.

Blogger Alpha DogMa said...

Okay what is the missing text on Holden's shirt?
Be careful My Mommy's...???
Gonna sue your ass off!
A better blogger than yours!
Do tell.

Anonymous Emily said...

We chose attachment objects for our kids because we wanted something we could replicate. So I gave them to the boys while they were breastfeeding. Then, one day, the baby decided he liked his blankie more than my breasts.

I love how they love those things. Makes me feel they must be happy.

Blogger DD said...

At 5 1/2, my son still has his Burpie (a cloth diaper). When we realized he was taking a shine to them, we were so happy than any one of the dozens I kept around for burping would do. It made the loss of them due to trips away from home so much easier to deal with.

Then we noticed a trend. There was one that stood out amongst the duplicates. He wants it when he's tired or hurt and even though he still sleeps with 3 or 4 burpies, it is the Striped Burpie he covets the most.

I've been planning on posting about this for many, many months, but just haven't got around to it.

Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Alpha Dogma - It says "Be careful, My Mommy's an attorney." You were close!

DD - How brilliant that they're interchangeable! I've been looking for a duplicate Blankie just in case and I can't find another one like it. Damn. it.

Blogger painted maypole said...

I have my own blankie, up in the attic. When my daughter was small she wore a sweater and cap made AGES ago by the same great aunt who made my blanket. It was the same type of yarn, and the same stitch. The feel of that tiny head inside that tiny hat felt just like my blankie against my cheek..... sigh.....

Blogger Pendullum said...

Scooter has Max a green and purple bear...
She has never used it as a security blanket so to speak... But he has travelled with us everywhere...and He still has the place of honour in her over stuffed bed, with endless stuffed animals... all the others look so clean and'tarted up' compared to ole Max...
I guarantee she will never forget him...

Blogger Ally said...

I somehow feel a bit sorry for your long-lost blankie, sitting by its lonesome in a box in your attic. I love your description of Holden's attachment to his blankie. You do a great job capturing the sweet goodness of snuggling your boy.

Blogger Julie said...

My 20 month old has a "banket" that goes everywhere with us. I actually posted about it the other day - we're thinking of changing her name to Linusette! : )

Blogger Bon said...

awww. he's so sweet.

O seems to be developing a thing for his little blue & green knit blankie...or possibly for his bunny...or possibly for my old blue bunny which is older than Dave and which i've carried with me all these years. he's still deciding.

but me, i'm faithful...old bunny goes where i go. i should hop onto this roundtable, apparently. :)

congrats on the Just Post.

Blogger FENICLE said...

PLEASE do not laugh....but I still have my green blankie. Oh & I still sleep with it! I know. I know. I'm almost 30 years old.

It goes everywhere we go - like vacation. Um and our honeymoon :)

It's just something I sleep with. I can't explain it. But our 5 yr old son has one too. He's definitely my child!!!

Blogger flutter said...

This is really darling, and that boy of yours, good-ness what a breath stealer.

Blogger slouching mom said...

Oh, that photo is lovely. He's beautiful.

Blogger Slackermommy said...

Congrats on your award!

All my kids have favorite blankets. I love the excited giggle from my baby when she sees her. Reminds me of my reaction when I see chocolate. I think I traded my blanket in for chocolate at some point.

Blogger Busy Momma said...

Alright, I'll admit that I'm so sappy I'm all teary eyed right now. You are so wonderful with words and I got completely lost reading your post thinking about doing that very thing with my little boy, sometimes with his blankie, somethimes without. For now he just wants it when he sleeps, we'll see if it turns into a "carrying it around everywhere" situation as he gets older.

Blogger jen said...

M has not one but three security blankets. blankies, yes. but one is her favorite. the most special one. i expect i'll do exactly the same. lovely post, sister.

Blogger Snoskred said...

It is so lovely that your blankie is in a box in the attic.. ;) It is a reminder to me that leaving things behind is not always a good thing. I'm missing a lot of good things from my growing up years reading this.. especially my journals and I have no idea where those went..


Blogger Queen Heather said...

Very sweet!

Parker has a blankie too. I know what you mean.

Blogger Catherine said...

I was thinking of writting the topic in a similar vein, as my son just decided he can't go a minute without his stuffed doggy...great post...so sweet...

I still have my blankie somewhere. :)

Blogger NotSoSage said...

There's nothing that I could clearly pinpoint as a blankie for either myself or Mme L. Which, I think, means that neither of us have one. You don't miss/forget those things, I think.

I hope Holden carries it with him, too.

That was such a sweet post! My son doesn't use a blanket, but he likes to feel his hair. When he's feeling really needy (like last night) he has to feel MY hair and sleep with me.

Although I hate all the hair pulling in the middle of the night, it's kinda nice to be his blankie once in a while :)

Blogger Jen M. said...

I loved this post. My five year-old still has his "cubbie" (soft blue blanket). My oldest also had her blanket. I love that you still have yours. Mine got eaten by my mom's dog :(

Anonymous Emily said...

THought of this post again today when I heard my eldest say "I'm carrying Taggie out to the garden because Taggie doesn't have legs."

Good point.

Blogger Mert said...

Awww! So sweet! He'll be so happy to have his blankie safe , right where his mommy put it someday.

Blogger Jenn said...


It's Ruby's name that Little A whispers when I wake her up each morning to leave, it's Ruby whom her little arms search for before she leaves her crib.

Ruby shall remain with her until she's old enough and irresponsible enough to lose her or think she doesn't need her, and then I'll take possession and save her for when she wants her back.

Blogger Julie Pippert said...

Excellent post...lovely, sentimental. Thanks for adding it in. :) You know our lovey situation here. But you know, when it is in, it's in.

Blogger Ann(ie) said...

awwww. so sweet. Holden is a cutie and you are a wonderful, caring mama. Found you via the Queen...glad I did.

Great blog, girl.


Blogger ewe are here said...

I had a blankie as a child. Loved it to death, literally.

My mom made my oldest a blankie to match my big throw blanket that she made me, only she used softer yarn for his of course. I'm still waiting for the one she promised my littlest... I really hope she follows through.

Blogger Brillig said...

Oh my gosh, that picture is so darling. Look at those cheeks!

My 2 year old has a blanket too. He's nuts about it. It's a constant companion.

I never really did, and neither did either of my older children. FUnny, huh? It's an interesting personality thing!

Blogger Mary-LUE said...

This was really very beautiful, LM. Made me go Ahhhhh with a little sigh at the end.

Blogger Gunfighter said...

I had "teddy", which I kept until I was about 8... I still suspect that my older brother had something to do with the disappearance. If I can ever confirm this, it will be his last day.

But I'm not scarred or anything.

Anonymous Lindsay Lebresco said...

This post is so beautifully written! Such a similar experience but a different point of view- I love it! I find comfort in the fact that you hold yours so dear to you (in memory as well as the fact that you still have it) This helps me not feel guilty for not wanting to take it away :) Thanks for commenting. Your son is adorable!!!

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