3-2-1- Blast Off!

I love the Discovery Channel Store. They always have the coolest toys, for grown ups and children. In fact, my husband has a robot and a remote control helicopter from the store sitting in our sun room right now. We've both been eying the talking globe for some time, trying to figure out just how old the boys need to be before we can justify buying it for ourselves the kids.

So when PBN gave me the opportunity to review one the Discovery Store's latest pre-school toys, I was thrilled! Discovery Store didn't disappoint me. Paz's Lift-Off Rocket is pretty cool. Read More....

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The DC Metro Moms are discussing breastfeeding and boobs today. Pop on over and check out the discussion.

How is Breastfeeding Related to Politics?

Did you hear about the flap in the Blogosphere when Facebook removed photos of women breastfeeding from their site and then banned one woman who continued to post them? How about the recent nationwide breast-in at Applebee's restaurants? How about when Bill Maher compared breastfeeding in public to masturbating in public?

Breastfeeding in public continues to be a hot button subject in our society. Everyone seems to agree that "breast is best," the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, the World Health Organization, even our Department of Health and Human Services. But breastfeeding rates in the U.S. are abysmal. Why? Because no one wants to see mothers actually doing it and our government, employers, and fellow citizens aren't willing to give mothers the time and the respect they need to successfully breastfeed.

Read More about YouTube banning the League of Maternal Justice Video at MOMocrats....

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Welcome to Day 10 of Wil Wheaton Watch. As part of my possibly futile attempt to get Wil Wheaton to post a comment on my blog, my good bloggy friend Julie has set up a meme to help me! You know someone is a good bloggy friend when they're willing to help you shamelessly stalk a celebrity. Get in on the action and go tell Wil to send me some love. And post about it on your blog. Maybe if enough of us annoy him to death he'll give in and acknowledge my existence. Or take out a restraining order.

Help Me! (and Boobs)

Today is the last day to help me win Sunshine's contest! Go over here & leave a comment on this post and tell her that I sent you. Please? Pretty please? I soooo want that shirt!

As part of her contest, Miss Sunshine has also asked that I write a post listing all the bloggers I love. Now this takes some effort! I have no less than 123 blogs in my Bloglines. Um, yeah, that's not going to happen. But I am going to put my blogroll in here. Bear with me. (And please don't be insulted if you're not on here. It just means I've been too lazy to update my blogroll.)

The View From Here
Still Learning
Serving the Queens
Queen of the Mayhem
Her Bad Mother
The Soccer Mom Vote
PunditMom
24/7
i obsess.
Bub and Pie
The Positive Pessimist
Moobs
Mommy off the Record
Dribblingwitt????
Chicky Chicky Baby
Blonde Justice
Angry Pregnant Lawyer
Mom, Ma'am, Me
Her Bad Mother's Basement
CPA Mom
Mom-101
Oh, The Joys
Wherever Ewe Go, There Ewe Are
GingaJoy
BlogRhet
A Family Story
a little pregnant
one plus two
The Ravin' Picture Maven
Slouching Towards 40
Not Exactly a Princess
And the pursuit of happiness

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Check out this great video from the League of Maternal Justice:



It's part of The Great Virtual Breast Fest. If you'd like to participate, see details here. Stop by and offer the ladies some "support!"

Facebook Sucks

I've been a bad bloggy friend lately, I know. I've been awfully busy at work and I have some other things brewing with the DC Metro Moms Blog (more on that below), so I haven't been visiting all of my blog friends regularly. I actually had to take drastic measures and mark the 205 (!) unread blog posts I had sitting in Bloglines as already read.

Please forgive me?

Now on to another rant:

Many people weighed in on the Bill Maher breastfeeding equals masturbation debate last week. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Only by discussing issues like this will we change public perception. In my post, I mentioned that Facebook had been deleting photos of breastfeeding women. You may have even seen the nifty "Facebook Sucks" buttons that have been popping up all over the Blogosphere.

Maybe Facebook has had enough thrashing for the year, but I'm not done yet.

David Westcott of It's Not A Lecture was the first blogger to bring the Facebook fiasco to my attention. In his initial post he pointed out that not only has Facebook pulled breastfeeding pictures from its site, it also banned one woman for life apparently because of her repeated and flagrant violation of Facebook's policies. I'm guessing that she continued to put up breastfeeding pictures. In fact, if you'd like to see the pictures that started it all, go here. (Thank you, Izzy, for the link!)

But wait, there's more. In David's post he pointed to something the Canadian media has picked up on. While Facebook apparently considers breastfeeding photos a violation of its Terms of Service, it permits some 300 pro-anorexia groups on Facebook. In these groups, women exchange tips on how to starve themselves and post pictures. Photos of themselves in an emaciated state.

Seriously.

These are a few of the groups that I found in a few searches on Facebook:

Karen Carpenter: Patron Saint of Anorexia
the "you know you want to be pro-ana really" society
Anorexia is NOT a disease, It's a LIFESTYLE
Get Thin or Die Trying
Us Size 0, UK Size 4
Size 0 to Hero

This is only a small number of the groups I found.

Now let's talk about why Facebook says it removed the breastfeeding photos.

David emailed Facebook and asked them about it. You can read his follow up post about his email exchange with Facebook here. Please go read the emails. They're awfully enlightening. Here's part of what Facebook had to say:

Facebook does allow mothers to upload and share photos of themselves breastfeeding their babies, and those photos remain available on Facebook as long as they follow the site’s Terms of Use. Photos containing a fully exposed breast do violate those Terms and could be removed.

(Emphasis added by me.) Basically what it comes down to is, Facebook says the breastfeeding photos violate its Terms of Use if they contain "a fully exposed breast." OK, so let's see what Facebook's Terms of Use really do say. (I'm going to repeat some of what I said in David's comments.)

Under the Terms of Use, users agree not to:

upload, post, transmit, share, store or otherwise make available any content that we deem to be harmful, threatening, unlawful, defamatory, infringing, abusive, inflammatory, harassing, vulgar, obscene, fraudulent, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;

(Emphasis added by me.) See anything about partial nudity or even full nudity or exposed breasts? Nope? Me neither. But Facebook's Terms of Use also refer to its Code of Conduct. So let's check that, shall we.

The Code of Conduct says this about Inappropriate Conduct:

While we believe users should be able to express themselves and their point of view, certain kinds of speech simply do not belong in a community like Facebook. Therefore, you may not post or share Content that:

* is obscene, pornographic or sexually explicit
* depicts graphic or gratuitous violence
* makes threats of any kind or that intimidates, harasses, or bullies anyone
* is derogatory, demeaning, malicious, defamatory, abusive, offensive or hateful

Honestly, I don't see how even a fully exposed breast (if one happened to be exposed during breastfeeding) could fall under Facebook's Terms of Use or its Code of Conduct unless company policy makes it so, unless "we" meaning Facebook deems it so. That's exactly what the Terms of Use say. It prohibits content that "we [meaning Facebook] deem to be [...] obscene [...] or otherwise objectionable."

That's what it comes down to, folks. Someone at Facebook made a policy decision that a breastfeeding photo is obscene or otherwise objectionable.

But pro-ana groups. Those are peachy keen. Here I give you another excerpt from David's email exchange with Facebook. When David pressed Facebook on the issue of pro-ana groups, here's what they had to say:

Facebook supports the free flow of information, and groups provide a forum for discussing important issues. Many Facebook groups relate to controversial topics; this alone is not a reason to disable a group. Facebook considers whether the content on wall posts and discussion boards of groups offer opinions on both sides of the issue. In cases where content is reported and found to violate the site’s Terms of Use, Facebook will remove it.

So breastfeeding = obscene or otherwise objectionable.

Pro-ana groups = "free flow of information" or "forum for discussing important issues."

Even though under Facebook's Terms of Use, I think a pro-ana group could definitely be considered harmful or otherwise objectionable, even without Facebook exercising its "discretion."

Dr. Leigh Ann Simmons, David's wife, wrote a wonderful post discussing one of the not so obvious problems with pro-ana sites. She points to a study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders that found that women feel heavier and less confident about themselves after viewing pro-ana websites.

So not only can the pro-ana Facebook groups help girls and women harm themselves physically, it can also harm them psychologically. My guess is that a teenager struggling with an eating disorder is certainly not going to receive positive help and support from a pro-ana website.

Facebook has a lot of explaining to do.

Today David let me know that, earlier this week, the For Immediate Release podcast (according to David, the top social PR podcast in the industry) discussed the Facebook breastfeeding/pro-ana debate and David's post. In it, they mention me and Izzy and quote our comments from David's blog. Here's a direct link to the MP3. The discussion is about 1/4 of the way into the show and lasts for about 5 minutes. When they talk about the lawyer who commented on David's post and read all the legalese you saw above? That's me. Thanks for the heads up, David!

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In other news, there are some exciting things happening for the SV Moms Blog, Chicago Moms Blog, and DC Metro Moms Blog posters. Elizabeth Edwards is meeting with the SV Moms on Saturday in California. Chicago Moms and DC Moms will be participating by conference call and apparently, the word is that Ms. Edwards would like to meet with the Chicago and DC Moms in person as well. I'm so excited I could pee myself! I'm glad someone is listening.

To continue this trend and to ensure that moms can participate in a serious discussion of the issues in the next election, we're going to try something a little new at the SV/Chicago/DC Metro Moms Blogs. Next Thursday, we'll all be posting about an important issue - health care. I've heard BlogHers Act is going to get involved and post about the issue too. If we get some good feedback, I'd like to do it every few weeks and hit as many social and political issues as we can. Check back for further details later on but I'm really excited about having the opportunity to speak up and have a great discussion. If any of you would like to participate, email me at lawyermama at gmail dot come and I'll give you more details.

I also have a new review of Phonics 4 Babies over at Lawyer Mama Review.

A Radical Act (Or Suck It, Bill Maher!)

Have you heard about Bill Maher's latest rant? My buddy Pundit Mom posted about it on DC Metro Moms today. Apparently Bill thinks that breastfeeding moms who do so in public are lazy and narcissistic.

It gets better. David of It's Not A Lecture, just wrote about Facebook's deletion of breastfeeding pictures it considers obscene.

Obscene.

I breastfed both of my boys. I'm a big advocate. I wish I could say that I have had only positive experiences as a breastfeeding mother. But I haven't. Unfortunately, I faced quite a bit of censure for breastfeeding Holden in public. Nonetheless, Holden and I made it a year. That's right, "we" made it a year. Holden and I were a breastfeeding team. It was a wonderful, beautiful experience. It was about bonding and love and food. That's it.

Occasionally it was necessary for me to feed Holden in public. No, I couldn't always cover up. Like many, many babies, Holden did not enjoy having his face covered while eating. If I covered him, even if I tucked, he could whip that sucker off in 2.3 seconds by the time he was two and a half months old.

But even uncovered, breastfeeding Holden was never obscene. No one was ever treated to so much as a millisecond glance of nipple unless they were intently staring at me and Holden. In fact, you'd see a hell of a lot more boob if you went to the beach or stood by the magazines in line to check out at the grocery store.

There is nothing disgusting or immodest or even bold about breastfeeding. It is not akin to urinating in public. Nor is it, as Bill Maher declared, akin to masturbating in public. It's necessary and natural. I feel so strongly about this, that you're about to witness a radical act.

I've posted a picture of me breastfeeding Holden right here on my blog. If you think the sight of a woman's breast doing what nature intended is obscene, then click that little x up there in the corner.


That's right, folks. That's my boob. That's my baby doing what came naturally.

Eating.



Those pictures you see above are some of the most treasured photos I have of Holden. They remind me of a special time in his life, and in mine. When I look at those pictures, I see his milk drunk smile and soulful eyes and I am transported back in time. I smell that milky, baby Holden smell and I feel the intense, all encompassing grip of new mama love all over again.

If you can look at those pictures and tell me that there is something wrong or perverted or disgusting about breastfeeding, then there's something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with me.

That's right, Bill. Those tatas are for me. "Suck" that!

I did actually post something today before I realized that I had a rant to get out on my blog. If you'd like to view a post that doesn't contain Lawyer Mama nudity, look below.

My Heart Is Breaking

When I started my blog, it was with the idea that it would be an online journal of sorts. A message to my sons about them, me, our family and our lives. Not always the mundane details, but the emotions, the thoughts, the sensations that we so easily forget. The things that aren't necessarily translated into a baby book.

But along the way I found all of you, the people who read my writing, who actually keep coming back to read about my lack of grace, moments of despair, and of joy. I started reading your blogs in return. And somewhere along the way, you all became very important to me. I care about you, I care about your lives. I hurt when you hurt. I laugh when you laugh. I cry when you cry.

I'm scared when you're scared.

Today, one of you, one of you I've grown to care about, posted something scary. So this afternoon I find myself sitting in my office with the door closed, crying. Because I'm scared for her and for her beautiful girls.

Now, I will pull myself together and offer her my support and my positive thoughts. Jenn, I'm listening. I'm not a praying person, but I will pray, in my own way, for you.

If you have a moment, please go offer Jenn your support. Thanks.

Something To Make You Smile

From our Fourth of July at, of course, the beach:







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I have a small rant to share about Johnson's Bedtime Baby Lotion. I've been using it on my boys since they were infants. I associate that smell with my sweet little babes.

Now Johnson & Johnson has gone and made their formula "New & Improved." Did no one learn Coke's lesson? And they completely changed the scent! Now the scent is too heavy and perfumey. The smell is less "baby" and more "whorehouse." So, of course, I sent off a ranty email to J&J using those exact words. I'm sure they'll take my "whorehouse" concerns very seriously.

I'm unreasonably upset about this. I've lost that smell forever and now it feels like I've lost my boys' babyhood.

Has anyone else ever had a psychotic break over the smell of baby lotion? Yeah, I didn't think so.

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What's the worst question you've ever received as a new parent or when pregnant? (And men, when your wife was pregnant?) My personal favorite - Isn't breastfeeding gross? You can read about it at Lawyer Mama Review.

Vote for These Boobs!

Political campaigns seem to reach for new lows every election cycle and this year is no exception. The attack ads and negative campaigning make me want to scream, or at least not vote. (Don't worry, I will vote. If you don't vote, you can't complain.) But a Libertarian candidate running a write-in campaign for governor in Alabama has come up with an even lower low. Loretta Nall is using sex to sell her politics.

The AP reports that:

Loretta Nall, the Libertarian Party’s write-in candidate for governor of Alabama, is campaigning on her cleavage and hoping that voters will eventually focus on her platform. “It started out as a joke, but it blew up into something huge,” said Nall, a 32-year-old with dyed blond hair.

Her campaign is offering T-shirts and marijuana stash boxes adorned with a photo of her with a plunging neckline and the words: “More of these boobs.” Below that are pictures of other candidates for governor — including Republican incumbent Bob Riley and Democratic Lt. Gov. Lucy Baxley — and the words: “And less of these boobs.”

Her Web site has a cartoon of someone stuffing bills down the front of her low-cut top. And for $50 donation she apparently offers to show a cartoon of herself flashing her breasts.

Nall, who spoke in an interview Friday on the Capitol steps, realizes that is about as close as she is going to get to the governor’s office. But her outrageous antics have helped her attract attention not normally enjoyed by write-in candidates.

Nall is calling for the withdrawal of the Alabama National Guard from Iraq, tax credits for sending children to private school and home schooling, opting out of the No Child Left Behind Act, legalizing marijuana, and not complying with the Patriot Act and the Real ID Act.

The Libertarian Party could not collect the 40,000 voter signatures needed to get her name on the ballot, and she has not reached the $25,000 threshold in contributions that would require her to file a campaign finance report.

Despite the political handicaps, she knows how to get free attention. Early in her campaign, she talked about how her misdemeanor arrest for marijuana possession in 2002 led her to start the U.S. Marijuana Party. Then she entertained readers of her campaign Web site with lots of information about her personal life, including a discussion of why she doesn’t wear panties.

My reaction is disgust. Now I'm sure Ms. Nall is entertaining and I definitely agree with portions of her political platform. I read through her campaign site and she appears to be more than just talk. She backs up her beliefs with action. But I simply cannot get on board with using sexuality, even in a funny way, for a political campaign. Yeah, I chuckled a bit when I read the story. But then I got mad. People running for political office have the ability to influence public opinion and to reach a wide audience. Defaulting to the quick joke about boobies is an insult to intelligent women everywhere and an insult to the political process. Yes, it got Ms. Nall some attention, but it also made her into a joke. So, Ms. Nall, do us a favor and keep talking about your policies. But, please, leave the talk about "the girls" to the adolescent boys.

More on Breastfeeding

I was browsing Much More Than a Mom and ran across a post with a link to what must be *the* most embarrassing breastfeeding moment I've ever seen. Enjoy!

Eating Sand

We went to the beach last weekend to enjoy the end of Summer weather. The boys had a blast, Hollis got dunked by some waves, and Holden ate about a pound of sand. I'll let you know if we find any diamonds in the diaper. I thought I'd write about our trip, but not just because of the excuse it gives me to post super cute pictures of my kids. Something notable actually happened while we were there.

About 30 minutes into our outing Holden stopped eating sand and insisted that I nurse him. Little H is 8 months old and a stubborn little guy so everyone knows when he is hungry and only Mommy milk will do RIGHT NOW! So, with everyone near us on the beach staring at my shrieking child, I retreated into our beach tent & nursed the baby. Side note here - Nursing Holden is like nursing an octopus lately - the hands and feet are everywhere - and we always engage in a tug of war over the blanket covering my breast. Holden thinks that Mommy should flash the entire world so that he can look around and occasionally stop to chat with and smile at passers-by. I prefer to have the world think that there is actually a sleeping baby under the blanket and not gape at my ta-tas in amazement and horror. Holden always seems to win. This time I actually succeeded in keeping myself covered and was congratulating myself on my victory over the shrieking octopus when the male half of a couple near us came trotting over to see why the screaming had stopped. Then he trotted back to his wife. I braced myself for the nasty comments I've heard oh so often. But then I had a lovely surprise - he told his wife that I was nursing and his wife said "Oh, that's so sweet!" Then they smiled at each other & smiled at me.

I'm sure they didn't realize it, but they made my day. In my 11 months of breastfeeding experience (3 with Big H and 8 with Little H), I have never once heard a nice comment from a stranger. I've had plenty of nasty comments, and even more disapproving stares, but this was the first time I felt supported in breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is pretty common these days so I'd like to think that people have become more accepting of public breastfeeding. Well if they have, I hadn't seen it. The comments and smiles from the beach couple took so little effort but they made me feel great about my decision to breastfeed. So the next time you see an exhausted looking woman out in public nursing, give her a thumbs up or a smile or a "way to go!" I'm sure she'll appreciate it.

Now I've got to go get Holden. He's crawled over to Hollis's sandbox and appears to be eating sand. Again.