Post-Election Revelry

I'm thrilled that elections are over for this year. First, the Democrats took control of Virginia's Senate. Wooooooo Hoooooooo! But more importantly, those annoying political ads have stopped.

For now.

I'm fully aware that next year's crop will be even worse and will last longer given the upcoming presidential primaries and election. I cannot stand political ads. It's not just because I've already picked my candidate. No, the negative campaigning just makes me want to shriek in agony and throw things at the TV. And then rip up my voter card, burn it, and stomp on the ashes for good measure.

I can't be the only one annoyed and, yes at times, infuriated by these commercials. They're all pretty much a carbon copy of one another:

{Cue ominous music}

Jane Smith voted to raise taxes on Virginia's working families 5,345 times while accepting campaign donations from evil pharmaceutical companies/oil companies/Chinese lead factories.

{Insert unflattering, grainy photo of Jane Smith with mouth pursed or wide open while she appears to be drop kicking an infant or stealing a lollipop from a toddler.}

{Music perks up}

{Insert clip of John Doe with Stepford family and
then shaking the hands of working folk.}

John Doe understands the needs of Virginia families. He walks on water and is the second coming of Christ. He'll drop down to his knees and pleasure each of you individually if you vote for him. He'll even enjoy it if you'll also give him money.

{Cheesy, smiling photo of John Doe with waving flag in
background.}

John Doe, working "hard" for Virginia families.

"I'm John Doe and I approved this message."

(Those annoying automated phone calls are also frustrating to me. I hang up, but they just keep calling!)

If you actually go do your research, you discover that Jane Smith has never actually voted to increase taxes, but has voted for bills that indirectly increase fees or has voted in committee for bills that *might* potentially raise taxes 85 years from now.

Why do politicians do this? These commercials insult our intelligence and lower the discourse of political debate. I know, I know. Negative campaigning works. But I don't have to like it. In fact, I'm going to keep bitching until a nice guy or girl finally wins.