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Am I *That* Mother?
After the kids came down off of their sugar highs last night and T and I packed them away to bed at a very late hour, we had an "oh, shit" moment.

You see, a few days ago my three year old had come home with a note from pre-school and a cardboard feather. His first homework. We were to let him decorate the feather in any way he'd like, with art materials, pens, markers or whatever and then send it back to school with him on November 1st.

T and I at 10:30 pm last night: "November 1st? Holy shit! That's tomorrow!"

In our defense, we aren't complete slackers. Hollis came home with the feather on Tuesday. I was out of town Tuesday (so it didn't happen), leaving one night - Halloween. Of course we forgot, so it's not like I can say we chose Halloween over a cardboard feather but still, it's not like we had a lot of notice.

I was all for sending a note back to his teacher explaining that I had been out of town. I'm not opposed to pretending my husband is an idiot who can't be trusted to supervise the coloring and gluing of a feather when it serves my purpose. T wasn't opposed either. (He plays stupid when it suits him too.) But then we read in the note that the children were to share their feathers during circle time and explain how they decorated them. My husband looked at me with these big, sad puppy dog eyes and said that we couldn't let Hollis be the only one without a feather.


Damn it. T was right.

So at 10:30 at night, I dragged my butt upstairs and retrieved some materials from the area of my bedroom affectionately known as Crafting Mecca. Here lie all the fun markers, papers, stickers, scissors, glitter, and ribbons that mean Mommy won't let H&H touch because some day she may get off her butt and actually finish those scrapbooks.

And yes, T and I decorated Hollis's goddamn cardboard feather.

The next morning, T loaded the kids up to take them to daycare, gave Hollis the cardboard feather (now artfully decorated with Hollis's name, some ribbon, any many buttons) and two of my glitter pens and let him go to town. We figured this way we could say that Hollis had actually decorated the feather. Of course, Hollis took one look at it and asked "Did Mommy do this?" T, apparently thinking that three years old = idiot said, "You did it, Hollis." Hollis replied with a knowing, "No, Mommy did this!"

Hollis then merrily scribbled away on his feather and even rearranged some of the buttons. But we know he totally narced on us during circle time. I can almost hear him telling his teacher and all his classmates about how Mommy and Daddy decorated his feather in buttons and ribbon.

I'm not sure what's worse: actually doing my three year old's homework for him or getting caught in the process.


Pundit Mom, my favorite psychic cheerleader, nominated this post for a Perfect Post award. It meant a lot to me because that post, more than any of my more recent posts, explains a lot about me. I'm never more vulnerable than when I open up all my squishy parts for all of you to see. Joanne, I love you to death, babe. When you come visit, I promise to protect you from my ghost.

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Blogger Alpha DogMa said...

Yes, you are THAT mom - the mom who keeps her sense of humour about things. My kid is going to narc on me that I filled out his healthy breakfast chart tonight, and did not do it daily (as intended) for the last month.

Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

Now see, AD, I need you to come down here and be my 1 man cheering section!

When I was pregnant with Hollis and undergoing treatment for diabetes, I waited to fill out my blood sugar and diet chart until 1/2 an hour before my appointments. I should have known that was a sign of things to come....

Blogger flutter said...

How dare you live your life! *shakes fist*

Blogger Gwen said...

Careful! You might get addicted to how well you can do your son's homework and have a hard time giving it up. NOT that I know anything about that from personal experience or anything, oh no.

Blogger DD said...

I guess in a coin toss, I would rather do the elementary home-work than the middle- or high-school. You might as well get your licks in now.

Blogger Jenn said...

Oh Sweetie, worse, far worse is the karma coming back to the teacher who had something due the day after h-oween.

There was no school here Nov. 1 for Parent Teacher Conferences.

Coincidence? I think not.

Blogger PunditMom said...

I can't wait to see that feather! And, hey, why are they giving pre-school "homework" due the day after Halloween anyway!?

Anonymous PT-LawMom said...

ROFL!!! At least you aren't the mom who completely forgot and sent nothing in. I think that would be worse. I agree, that teacher was crazy to think anything would get done this week!

Blogger Julie Pippert said...

PSSSSSTTTT! Come here! I have a SECRET!


There I said it. The ones who act like they are lie like rugs. No person has their shit 100% together all the time especially at Halloween.

We've all BTDT and I 100% guarantee every child in circle time said something about mommy b/c I promise you every mom hovers over crafting kids "helping" and watching like a hawk.

(If you don't? NEVER TELL ME. My kids would craft my dining room into something Barbie Whore would love so I don't want to know about good children.)

I still haven't sent in the $5 activity fee for the kindergartne, sold any dadgum cookbooks, collected any cans, labels or box tops or basically earned any more money for the school (wow, maybe tuition for private is more realistic).

I'm LOL at you and T with puppy dog eyes. You good parents for making sure he had that feather! That's LOVE.

Using My Words

Blogger Sarcasta-Mom said...

That's so funny, becasue last year my daughter had a similar feather project. It was a Thanksgiving Family Feather, and I'm not ashamed to admit I did 75%, and I did it the night before it was due.

Blogger newnorth said...

lol, too funny. I used to finish my little brothers math homework for him because it took him forever and I wanted to play. He never told on me though.

Blogger Mrs. Chicken said...

Oh, you mean THAT mom. The one who doesn't want her kid to miss out. Yeah, you are totally that mom.

And dude, WTF? Homework in preschool?

Blogger Lawyer Mama said...

OK, so it's not just me? Homework at 3 is a little strange, right?

Blogger moosh in indy. said...

I let the moosh turn hers in a day late, her first homework assignment EVER and she turned it in late.
I blame all the other parents that were up at all hours of the night doing their kids homework for them.

Anonymous Julie said...

"No, Hollis, you did it." I love it. Good to know that there's an age (three) when kids don't understand lying yet. When do they learn that, huh?

Blogger Gunfighter said...

Now my colleagues are wondering what the hell is making me laugh so loudly in the office.


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