It's amazing what kids pick up. Hollis and Holden are rapidly gaining the skills necessary to maneuver in our world.
My 2 1/2 (2 1/2 when I wrote this, now 3) year old has recently become a parrot. While I'm thankful he hasn't picked up any of the big 3 - shit, fuck, or damn - he's still got quite a colorful vocabulary. Recently heard from Hollis:
"For Christ's sake!" (OK, I admit it. This one is totally my fault.)
"For the love of God, man! Get a grip!" (OK. Also my fault.)
"Doofus!" (Yep, me again.)
"Mommy/Daddy, you're stinky." (We must make an effort to shower more on weekends.)
My kids are also working on their future parenting skills. Here are a few tools in the parenting box that they've mastered already:
LM: "Sweetie, where did you get that bruise on your leg?"
Hollis: "You dropped me in the street, Mommy." (Insert accusing tone here.)
LM (on computer) (again)
Holden: "Computer off, Mommy!"
LM (in surprise): "OK, sweetie."
Upon LM leaving the room to pee, Holden: "Come back, Mommy! Come back!"
Hollis to T: "Can I have this candy?"
T: "After dinner."
Hollis to LM in another room: "Open this, please?"
LM: "Where did you get that?"
Hollis: "The kitchen. Daddy said I could have it."
LM (cursing T under breath) opens candy for Hollis.
Hollis runs back to kitchen to eat candy.
T to Hollis: "Didn't I tell you to wait until after dinner?"
Hollis: "Mommy opened it for me."
Later, T to LM: "Did you give him that candy?"
LM: "I opened it for him. He said you said he could have it."
T: "I did. After dinner."
We both pondered our conversations with Hollis and realized that he had not technically lied to either of us. Score: Hollis 1, T & LM 0.
LM to Hollis: "Do you want a time out?"
Hollis: "You're not the boss of me!"
LM: "Actually, yes, I am."
Hollis: "Well, I don't like it!"
Hollis: "Can I have that toy, Mommy?"
LM: "Not right now, sweetie."
Hollis (whining): "But I need it!"
LM ignores Hollis
Hollis: "You're bad, Mommy!"
At least I haven't heard those dreaded three words yet: "I hate you."
I also have to thank Mary G. from Them's My Sentiments for the ROFL award she gave me for this post. Mary is a (somewhat) new blogger, but you'd never know it. She was born for this community and is one the most talented writers and supportive bloggers I've ever run across. Thanks again, Mary!