It's no secret that I love a good martini. But when I'm at the beach, I prefer a rum and coke. (Or a daiquiri, but that's a lot of sugar!) It's portable and easy. I pack the cooler with cans of Diet Coke, water in little 4 ounce bottles for the kids, and a nice sized 10 ounce water bottle full of rum for me and anyone else who wants to partake.
Last weekend when we were at the beach (yes, that beach) a mean boy threw sand in Holden's face. The boy's father was more worried than I was, carefully examining Holden's eyes and saying "oh, it looks bad," in an ominous voice. I calmly picked up the baby and carried him over to our chairs while the dad chewed out his toddler. I was congratulating myself on being so calm and collected. T came over to help me wash Holden's eyes with water and proceeded to dump some of the contents from a water bottle in Holden's eye. That's when I realized that T was dumping my water bottle of rum all over the baby. (You could see that one coming, couldn't you?)
I have to admit that I freaked out a bit. There was lots of hysterical "OH MY GOD, you poured booze in the baby's EYE!!" happening. (Thankfully, no one on the beach called the police.) But I pulled it together and rinsed the poor little guy with water. A few big crocodile tears and a snuggle and Holden was good as gold. No blind baby. No need to explain exactly how we soaked our child in booze to Child Protective Services in the emergency room. Whew!
But I was still shaken. So was T. We both *knew* what was in the bottle. We did. We were just in a hurry. I guess that's how accidents happen.
Holden, aside from toddling drunkenly down the beach smelling like he'd just been doing upside down margaritas at the Sigma Chi kegger, was just peachy. And hey, how many of you can say you've changed a diaper that smelled like a distillery? Yeah, that's what I thought.
I'm such a trendsetter.
Yes, I will refrain from packing alcohol (at least in a water bottle) in my cooler in the future.
Edited to add:
I just realized that this is my 100th post! Sounds like a good reason to go to the beach and drink spiced rum. (Brilliant suggestion, Gwen!)
Oh and, just to reassure everyone, I don't really think that I am a bad mother. I meant it in that "doesn't my butt look big in these jeans" kind of way. I'm a super cool mom, despite the fact that I marinated my youngest.