Oops! I'm Pimpin' Again.

If you'll pardon the Britney Spears reference in the title, I had to share some more photos from Sonia's fabulous Sunshine Designs. I ordered shirts for football season for me and the boys and they turned out wonderfully.

If you're new to my blog, you may not know that I am a rabid Hurricanes fan. Hubby is a Nebraska fan. It's hard to find common ground. But since I'm the parent who buys the clothes, what team allegiance do you think the boys will be sporting this Fall? Yep. Suck it, T!

My shirt is a super-cute pink jersey style tee with "It's a 'Canes Thing" on it it green Swarvoski crystals. The shirts for the boys are hunter green with orange crystals that say "Hurricane Holden" and "Hurricane Hollis." Holden was the inspiration, because I've been calling him Hurricane Holden since he first became mobile. Because, well, he's Holden. He is a force of nature, that's for sure!

So enjoy our attempts at a group photo session. Click on the pictures for close-ups:

Hey! I said we were wearing football shirts not playing football!

"We're taking Mommy down!"

"We've got her!"

"Isn't anyone going to call these boys for holding????"

Here we finally have a glimpse of a shirt as Hurricane Holden drops back for a pass.

Hurricane Hollis sports a cheesy grin.

I just love having little boys!

Go check out Sonia's site or email her at sonia at sunshinedesigns dot biz. You know you want one!

Force of Nature

This weekend, my mother-in-law and I took H&H to a birthday party. CPA Mom's Eeyore was turning 3 and the kids were excited to go. The Little Gym was covered in soft, brightly colored gymnastic mats, things to climb, and balls to throw. Infectious dance music (including my personal favorite, MICKEY by Toni Basil) played nonstop.

The kids loved it. H&H took off in opposite directions to have fun. I don't think either of them stopped moving for the entire 90 minutes we were there. But still, Hollis and Holden reacted very differently to the loud, chaotic environment.

Holden ran up to everyone, saying "hi," and bestowing his adorable, trademark grin. He climbed with abandon and expected anyone nearby to help him or catch him. He just assumed assistance would be there as he flung himself about and he didn't care if it came from me. In fact, I only remember him actively seeking my attention once. I was sitting on the floor watching Hollis with my back to Holden and Holden ran up, tagged me, and ran away again, arms in the air, laughing at me over his shoulder, as if to say, "Here I am, Mommy. Watch me fly!"

Hollis was much more cautious. He climbed and ran and twirled, yes. But he did so alone. He never asked for help, except from me or Grandma. He never assumed that hands other than mine would be there to catch him. He ran about the room, but returned to me every few minutes. Still, the casual observer would probably never have realized how different H&H are.

Until the inflatable bounce mat made an appearance.

The kids were supposed to sit on the center of the mat while it inflated. Hollis wasn't having any of that, but Holden screamed as I carried him away from the fun. Once the mat was inflated, Holden climbed up without a backwards glance, running, jumping and stumbling across the mat, assuming that hands would be there to catch him as he leaped off the edge.

Hollis stood to the side, watching. He looked longingly at the inflatable mat but cried out in alarm when I brought him to the edge. He finally crossed it in my arms, as I awkwardly bounced my 34 year old body along while carrying a 27 pound almost-three year old on my hip. (Yeah, just call me Grace.) Finally, just before the mat was to be deflated, Hollis walked and slid cautiously across the mat, holding my mother-in-law's hands. He was shaky and cautious, but tremulously smiled in triumph.

Hollis, cautious and careful, is the quintessential oldest child in my mind. His personality is so much like mine that watching him is a surreal experience. It's almost like watching myself 32 years ago. I know the fear that holds him back and the longing to fly that accompanies it. I know that he will spend the rest of his life wanting to jump into life feet first without looking, but unable to stop himself from simply climbing, haltingly, into the shallows.

Holden, wild and fearless, is a mystery to me. He expects the adoration of everyone, but doesn't seem bothered if rebuffed. Holden will try anything, taste anything, and steal your heart with a smile. I look at him, bounding tumultuously around a room - my destructive social butterfly - and I wonder, "Who are you? How did you come from me?" But Hurricane Holden is wonderful, a force of nature. I marvel that T and I created him.

I've written before about the personality differences in my children, but never before has the path ahead been so clear to me as it was on Saturday at a child's birthday party. I worry that the scant 15 months between the boys will pose a problem, particularly when I see them engaged in the same activity. Hollis, the elder, hangs back, while Holden, the younger, jumps right in, leaving a wake behind him. Leaving Hollis behind him.

Perhaps it is enough, for now, that Hollis even dips his toes into the rapids. When Hollis finally does learn to dive in, he'll find all the more pleasure in the cool embrace of the water. And maybe he'll give me that tremulous smile. The smile that says, "I was scared, Mommy. But I did it. I did it!"

Photos by CPA Mom.

Brotherly Love

I'm just starting to delve into the relationships between brothers. I have a brother but, being a girl and all, relationships between boys are not my forte.

What I do remember from my own childhood was a little brother who, in hindsight, adored me.

I tolerated him.

B wanted to do everything I did, hang out with me and play with me. I, being 4 years older, wanted nothing to do with a pesky little brother.

I was hard on B. I made him fetch things for me, run my errands, sometimes do my chores, and basically work his little butt off for slivers of my sisterly attention. Still, the adoration continued, even into high school.

T has a brother, younger by 2 years. T nearly killed him on several occasions, but they got along pretty well. Still, T remembers barely tolerating his brother as well. They played together, yes, but seeing as how they lived on a farm in SW Nebraska, there weren't many other options. And T remembers being awfully mean to K.

And so, based on my own experiences and those of my husband, I often wonder what sort of relationship my two H's will have. Will they be close growing up? Undoubtedly they will be in a way. Physically - they share a room. In time - they're only 15 months apart, so they'll have no choice in the matter there. But after they're grown, what will happen then? And growing up? They're so close in age but they will be at least a year apart in school, with separate friends and activities.

Here are my boys now:




But later? Will they tolerate each other? Love each other? Or a bit of both?

I worry that Holden will spend his life chasing Hollis. I worry that Holden, so close in age to Hollis, will surpass his brother in some skill and that Hollis will feel inadequate. I worry about worrying. Because worrying about my children is just what I do.

I'm also very aware that I'm worrying in hypotheticals. So much of the brother dynamic between the two of them is yet to be determined. Slouching Mom recently wrote a post about the relationship between her two sons. After reading about her boys, a relationship that seems to mirror my own with my brother, I wonder if the youngest in a family is always following an older sibling around. Following and never. quite. catching. up.

H&H will share so much beyond biology. They will share secrets and life defining moments. I won't be a part of much of it. And I wonder how these brothers, one always leading, the other following, will affect each other's lives and personalities.

Will they develop empathy, compassion, and understanding? Or the opposite?

I really shouldn't worry so much.

On Sunday we couldn't get the boys to nap. T and I were fried, so we eventually decided to just let them run around in their room until they got tired and went to sleep.

Sleep? Ha!

When T and I went up to "wake" the boys, we found Holden and Hollis grooving to the Ocean Wonders Aquarium music and hopping up and down in Holden's crib. Along with the contents of the boys' room. And I mean all the contents of the room. Everything that wasn't nailed down or plugged in was in the crib. Including all of the baby blankets from the cupboard, all the stuffed animals (including 3 stuffed animals over 3 feet tall), all the throw pillows, Hollis's bedding, and a pair of shoes. They were having a blast.

The boys will be fine. If we do our job, they'll be just fine.

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