Who is Your Google Twin?

A couple of weeks ago my local paper did a story about Google twins. (Your Google twin, for the uninitiated, is a person you locate by Googling your own name.) Admit it, we've all egosurfed before. It's right up there with stalking old boyfriends and girlfriends on the list of high ranking Google entertainment. And it's a good way to kill time. If you have a somewhat unusual, but not too unusual name, you can find some interesting twinnage.

I have to cheat to find my Google twin. I have a hyphenated last name and my maiden name is fairly unusual outside of the State of Louisiana. I am reasonably well assured that no one else in this world shares my legal name. My first name and maiden name, however, yield far more interesting results. My Google twin lives in Hawaii, is ten years older than me, and belongs to several motorcycle clubs. I've been following her since 1996. The other Lawyer Mama is like my own digital doppelgaenger. By following her online progress, I can see what my life could be like ten years into the future if I chose a different path. I'm not raring to move to Hawaii, and motorcycles scare me, but it's a nice little fantasy. My Google twin helps facilitate the fantasy by revealing only bits and pieces of herself online. I, on the other hand, am a cyber-exhibitionist. If you Google my name you get all sorts of stuff that gives you a pretty clear picture of my life: career, kids, political leanings, and my blog. There are even pictures to spell it all out.

My husband, on the other hand, has this almost pathological need to keep his name off of the Internet. He also has a very unusual first name. Until very recently, the only Google hits for his name involved birth and death announcements. Whoopee. I am constantly disappointed by T's Google information. It's almost as if he doesn't completely exist without a complete cyber-profile. T is amused by my disappointment and actually takes great pride in giving any potential cyber-stalkers almost no discernible information about his life.

Last week, however, I hit pay dirt. While wasting away a few hours minutes on the Internet, I discovered that T now has a Google twin. In fact, he has TWO! And, man, are they good ones. One of the top hits for T's name was a runner up in a state level Miss USA pageant. Yep, she's a woman. That really chaps T's ass because one of his pet peeves is the recent trend of using boy names for girls. You can practically watch him turn purple if you happen to mention that your cousin's friend's second daughter is named Hollis. It's a sure way to turn his crank. So that one is gratifying, but the other Google hit is even better. The first hit for T's name is now a profile on IMDb. A fledgling director sharing T's name has burst onto the movie scene ... with soft porn. As I'm sure you can guess, T is thrilled! To make it even better, the Google T appears to have no photos online, so an old girlfriend or acquaintance will never be entirely sure that the director of, say, Forest Hump isn't my T. Baaaahaaaaa!

OK, yeah, I'm sure I could make this into a serious post. There's lots of material there: fantasizing about a freewheeling life in Hawaii, my husband's pathological need for privacy and my need to vomit my life details all over the Internet, but I'm just not going to go there today. Sorry. Maybe another time.