A Letter to Two New Moms

Amazing woman #1 is my cousin C and one of the most adventurous women I know. She's traveled the world, shaved her head, modeled, learned massage in Thailand, eaten a gigantic spider, and given her heart and had it broken. She's got so much love to give. C's new little girl was due several days ago and C has had some serious contractions over the last 3 to 4 days. Hopefully, by the time she reads this she will be a mother.

Amazing woman #2, another C, is the sister of one of my best friends. She had health problems and endured more than one major surgery while she was in medical school. Unfortunately, those surgeries have left her unable to bear children. After 3 IVF cycles, she and her husband decided to adopt. It happened faster than anyone imagined. They got the call on Saturday, met the biological parents on Sunday, and left the courthouse today with their new 1 week old baby. I couldn't be more thrilled for them if she were my own sister.

There are just a few things I'd like to tell them both.

Dear C and C,

This first week will be hard. You will be overwhelmed with emotions you've never felt and fears you've never imagined. I promise you, this is completely normal. You won't get much sleep for the first eight weeks or so, but sleep whenever your baby sleeps. And if you want to hold the baby during naps, do it. Don't listen to anyone who tells you "shouldn't" do anything. Breastfeed or don't. Co-sleep or don't. Do what comes naturally and try not to doubt yourself.

You will doubt yourself. You'll doubt yourself in a way you, as a confident woman, never have before. But it's OK. Just pretend that you're confident in this whole mom thing and before you know it you will be. I promise.

Time will pass too fast. In a few weeks, your baby will be smiling at you, and then rolling over, and then walking away from you. Treasure every smile, every sleepy sigh, every moment. And takes lots of pictures. You'll never look back and think that you took too many.

It will be amazing. You're going to love that little person like you've never loved anything before. Your love for your baby will consume you and it may be scary. That's OK too. Just let it happen.

You get to grow a person! You get to shape the values and mind of that amazing little being. It's a big responsibility. But you'll do a great job.

You will be overwhelmed. Every mom is overwhelmed at some point and it will happen to you too. Just remember that it's OK to step back, to take a break, to ask for help.

There's a whole world full of women who know exactly what you're going through. We understand and we'll listen to you and offer advice. We'll bond with you in line at the DMV, the grocery store, in elevators, and on sidewalks. We may know you for a lifetime, meet you for 5 minutes in passing, or just pass you in the aisle at the store with a smile, but we get it. We instantly understand.

We're fellow Mommies. Welcome to the club. We've been waiting for you.

Love,
Lawyer Mama

Photo by Celeste Masson